Have you ever wondered, “Why do I keep up with people who hurt me?” 

You’re not broken at all. 

The answer isn’t about bad luck or bad choices. It’s about emotional programming.

And no, this isn’t just a relationship issue. Nor is this about you.

It’s a brain survival issue, rooted in unresolved childhood trauma. And once you understand how it works, you can change it.

You're Not Choosing Pain on Purpose. You're Choosing What Feels Familiar.

When you grow up around unpredictability, you know, where love feels conditional, where you were shamed or silenced...

Your brain learns a rule to keep you safe. 

“This is what love feels like.”

It doesn’t feel safe. But it feels familiar.

So years later, when someone mirrors those same patterns, a love that’s hot and cold, praise followed by punishment, your brain lights up.

It thinks this is love even if it’s destroying you.

Narcissists Know the Dance. And You've Been Trained to Follow It.

Unhealed trauma makes you the perfect match for unhealthy relationships. 

And, narcissists sense it. 

At first, they pour on the charm. They love-bomb you. They make you feel like you finally matter...

Then comes the control. The gaslighting. The emotional withdrawals.

And because part of you still wants to fix what you couldn’t as a child, you stay.

You try harder for them to love you back, or to care for you again. 

But it’s not your job to fix them.

It’s your job to free yourself.

Look at the Clues Your Body Is Giving You

• You feel small or anxious around your partner

• You’re constantly walking on eggshells

• You struggle to say “no” without guilt

• Your body aches, you can’t sleep, you feel exhausted

• You question your worth, your sanity, and your memory

These aren’t random. They’re survival responses from a brain that’s learned love equals fear.

And they can be rewritten.

The Real Solution Depends on You

People tell you all the time to “Just leave.”

But leaving the person doesn’t remove the pattern. That pattern lives in your memories,  how your brain processes love, fear, safety, and self-worth.

I teach people how to go back to the root.

And no, not with years of therapy. But by changing the way the brain codes those early emotional learnings.

Because once you change what love meant to your brain back then…You start choosing better now.

You no longer settle for survival. You choose peace. Wholeness. Clarity.

You’re Not Failing. You’re Following a Program That Can Be Rewritten.

If you’re stuck in toxic cycles, it’s not because you’re weak.

It’s because your brain is doing exactly what it was trained to do...

Keep you safe. Keep you connected. Keep you surviving.

But now, you can update that training.

And when you change what’s inside… You stop chasing the kind of love that hurts.

You start creating relationships that feel safe, healthy, and real.