You are not lazy. You are not weak. You are not missing some special level of motivation that other people have.
When stress hits, the brain goes back to what it knows. It pulls the same old recording, the same old emotional movie, the same survival pattern. It does not matter how many videos you watched last month or how clear you felt three days ago. In the moment that life hits you, the program comes first.
That is why so many people stay stuck in a stop-start cycle. They do a course. They feel relief. They promise themselves they will keep going. Then work piles up, money gets tight, somebody gets sick, grief gets touched, fear gets loud — and they lose access to the very tools they said they would use.
They hold it in. Push through. Get through the day. Collapse later. Feel bad for disappearing again.
It's not you. It's the program.
And if you do not interrupt that program consistently, it will keep giving you the same life with different details.