“Why do I keep doing the same thing in every relationship?” “How do I keep meeting these same people over and over again and get nothing out of it?” “When will I meet someone who is right for me?” “We’ve tried couples therapy and it doesn’t work for us.”
We have a tendency to point at others and say you – they – he – she – is making me feel bad. They make me feel lonely or worthless. Even if you’ve seen how you repeat these patterns and have taken responsibility for your part in things, it is still really challenging to change your behavior. You might say to yourself, “They’re right. I need to communicate better, I need to clean up after myself, I should want the same things that they do.” But I don’t. Or they don’t. And we keep running in circles never really meeting in the middle.
The simple answer to this is to look at you and how you hold these memories and change that.