MM slash DD slash YYYY
FOUNDATIONAL QUESTIONS & LEVEL 4 UNDERSTANDINGS:
KEY: Why Does Tapping Work? - Tapping may look like and feel like a strange process to those who have never experienced it before. And some people may even think it is downright wacky. Yet there are several widely-accepted schools of thought that utilize the meridian system that tapping is based on, acupuncture being the most well-known.
Tapping on the meridian points does two things:
- It disrupts the signal that travels along the electrical/chemical system. This breaks the emotional connection by working within the mind-body system, creating a pattern interrupt. Thischanges perception both physically andmentally.
- It is also a relaxation process. It brings you to the present moment, where your unconscious mind can say, “It's over, it's not true anymore.”
The unconscious mind is the storage house for every memory and every emotion we have experienced and how to produce it in the body. As we look at the world, we look through the filter of our past, or what we hold within. The mind triggers the body’s response using the meridian highway to the organs that, in turn, produce chemical reactions, felt as “feelings.”
KEY: ART of Change® Questions - The following questions, listed by category, will help you get specific information about that aspect of the P.I.P.S.
These are only ideas to help get you started. If you think of other questions, write them down and answer them! It’s all relevant information.
The Belief System
1. How do you know you have this (P.I.P.S.)?
2. What do you believe about this (P.I.P.S.)?
3. Why is this (P.I.P.S.) an issue for you?
4. What is the worst part about having this (P.I.P.S.)?
5. Why is it important to get rid of this (P.I.P.S.)?
6. What damage has this (P.I.P.S.) caused you and others in your life?
1. How did this (P.I.P.S.) start?
2. Have you ever experienced this before? If so, when?
3. Do you know anyone else who has this (P.I.P.S.)?
4. With whom do you normally have this (P.I.P.S.)?
5. What stories have you heard about others with this type of (P.I.P.S.)?
6. Is there a pattern of time with this (P.I.P.S.)? (4 yrs, 7 yrs, etc?)
7. What is the worst part about this (P.I.P.S.), and how bad will it get?
8. What triggers happen to make or start this (P.I.P.S.)?
9. When this (P.I.P.S.) began, what else was going on in your life at that time?
10. It’s gone! What made it come back?
The Inner Production
1. What happens inside you when you have this (P.I.P.S.)?
2. What things do you see, feel, hear, taste or smell inside when this (P.I.P.S.) occurs?
3. Where do you feel it, where does it move next, and what does it feel like?
4. What emotions do you feel about this (P.I.P.S.)?
5. What language are you using on yourself?
The Metaphoric Expression
1. If this (P.I.P.S.) was a person, who would it be?
2. If this (P.I.P.S.) had a voice, what would it say? Whose voice would it be?
3. If this (P.I.P.S.) had a message, what would it be?
4. If this (P.I.P.S.) had a size/color/shape, what would it be?
The Pay Off
1. What bad things will happen if this (P.I.P.S.) is gone?
2. What benefits do you experience when you have this (P.I.P.S.)?
3. What would be a good reason to keep this (P.I.P.S.)?
4. Who in my life supports me because of this (P.I.P.S.)?
5. Who would lose their role/job if this (P.I.P.S.) was gone?
6. Fill in the blank: “I like this (P.I.P.S.) because _______.”
(Ask multiple times, if you don't know, make it up!)
1. How would your life be if this (P.I.P.S.) was gone?
2. What would you be doing if this (P.I.P.S.) was completely gone?
3. What would you do, if this (P.I.P.S.) showed back up?
4. If you could wave a magic wand over this and have anything you wanted, what would it be like?
Once the structure is identified, you are ready to start addressing the memories and references used to produce the P.I.P.S.. You may notice that not all questions are relevant to each P.I.P.S., so be flexible. If questions not listed here surface, answer them.
The only wrong answers are the ones you ignore. You must be the detective and ask the questions to find the answers.
Of course, once you have your answers, you will begin to see many areas that need to be addressed further. You will also notice that the way you do one area of your life is the way you do many areas of your life.
Our beliefs and perceptions are the filters through which we see EVERYthing. If you’re wearing rose colored glasses, the world will be shades of rose, no matter where you look.
KEY: Pre-Tap Script - After the A.R.T. OF CHANGE® Process and before beginning tapping, you will identify the memory (aiming) the start with the Pre-Tap script.
This sets the stage for deep unconscious shifts right before you start the tapping portion of session.
- Identify – Notice how this problem bothers you.
- Command – Take a deep breath in. Close your eyes. Go back and FEEL IT FOR THE LAST TIME.
- Associate – See what you saw, hear what you heard, and feel what you felt.
- SUDS – Notice how strong it is: Zero, you can’t feel it, 10, it’s really strong. How strong is it?
- Amp it up – Make it stronger. The stronger you make it, the faster it goes.
- Silly Question – “Wait a minute! If you were to imagine a tree in front of you and I pulled all the roots out from under that tree, what naturally happens to a tree without roots?” [Wait 1.5 seconds only, then answer] “That’s right, it falls over and dies.”
NOTE: Four "silly questions" are given in the manual, and asking for 5 is seeing if they can create their own silly question. If they can't, it's ok, just encourage them to use that metaphoric mind in positive ways.
KEY: Silly Question, aka Tree Metaphor - In the Pre-Tap, prior to doing the Quick Tap, it’s important to set up the client’s unconscious mind for the work you’re about to do and let it know how you’re going to address the problem. We do this by using the silly question, or Tree Metaphor:
“Wait a minute! Imagine a tree in front of you. If I were to pull all the roots out from under that tree, what naturally happens to a tree without roots?...It dies (or falls over), doesn’t it?”
This works by relating the client’s problem to a tree with roots that go down into the unconscious mind. When you associate them to the problem and then immediately ask about the tree, the unconscious mind makes the connection even if the client is consciously confused.
When you say, “…if I were to pull all the roots out from under that tree…” you are telling the client’s unconscious mind that you, as the practitioner, are the one facilitating the process of uprooting the problem from the mind (so that it can “die” or collapse). It helps create rapport.
There are other metaphors that can be used as well. This is limited only by your imagination. Some other examples are:
- Balloons:“If I were holding a biodegradable helium balloon and I let go of the string, what would naturally happen to that balloon?…It would float away and disappear.”
- Cake: “If you have a whole cake in front of you, and I eat all the cake, how much is left? …None.”
- Dark room:“If you walked into a pitch-black room and I turned on all the lights, what naturally happens to the darkness? …It goes away.”
KEY: Quick Tap Scripts - The Quick Tap immediately follows the Pre-Tap and is the beginning of the tapping portion of the session. The following list of emotions was created to begin changing ALL the memories elicited in the intake process. Although these emotions are not necessarily specific to the intake answers, they are so common to the human experience that tapping on this list tends to create immediate, noticeable shifts. Move between all tapping points, starting between the eyes and asking your client to repeat after you:
“We are eliminating all ….
- Emotional Traumas
- Feelings of no control
- And everything else
- That’s right. Let it all go.
- Take a deep breath and blow it all away, and say ‘Peace!’” [Grab client’s wrist or instruct them to if over Skype]
- Now, go to your happy memory. (See Script)
- Now, go back to the unpleasant memory (See Back to Memory Script)
- Use the Parts and Piece Script tapping all the way down to the “Peace Anchor”
- Recheck memory and finish up with the six ways of Reimprinting Memories.
Happy Memory Script:
"Now, go to a HAPPY MEMORY, Notice the good feeling, notice, what it feels like, Notice where, and how you KNOW… See it, hear it, feel it, make it stronger, GOOD JOB, take a deep breath and say PEACE and grab the wrist."
Go back to the Memory Script:
"Now, go back to the memory. Notice, how things have started to change but notice what has not changed yet. You got it?
Parts and Pieces Script:
"Let it go, Let it go, It’s safe to let it go. It’s time to let it go. Take a deep breath, BLOW IT ALL AWAY, say PEACE.”
Let it go Script:
"Let it go, let it go, it's safe to let it, just let it go and say PEACE."
KEY: Peace Anchor - The Peace Anchor is the process of squeezing the wrist at the end of each tapping round and saying “Peace!” Doing this begins to interrupt the trance and creates peace.
At the end of each tapping round, have client take a deep breath, grab the wrist (or instruct client to grab their own wrist if online), blow it all away, and say the word “peace” while going to your happy memory.
Put them in the trance of the happy/good/peaceful memory: “Feel [the happy memory], notice it, take a deep breath, grab wrist, blow it all away, and say ‘Peace’.”
KEY: Aim and Tap - The most powerful part of the tapping process is aiming at the memory before beginning tapping. Aiming means consciously noticing howyou know the memory bothers you. When working with clients, you must first associate them to how they know before doing the QuickTap.
This could be anything from seeing a picture or movie, to feeling sensations or feelings in the body, to having a knowing that it’s a problem, to hearing “that voice” repeating “those words.” This is unique to each memory and could be different every time.
When aiming, simply direct your client to notice how they know. When tapping begins, ask them to immediately shift focus from the memory to the feeling of your (or their) fingers tapping. This will begin the process of breaking the trance, which is all a memory is. Tapping is the simplest form of defractionation.
KEY: The TOTEMS Model - All mental strategies are organized into a basic feedback loop called a T.O.T.E.: Test- Operate-Test-Evaluate (or Exit). The T.O.T.E. concept maintains that all mental and behavioral programs revolve around having a fixed goal and variable means to achieve that goal.
To determine if we have achieved the goal, we use a TEST to check for “success” or “failure.” If that goal is not achieved, we OPERATE (modify behavior). We TEST our results until all criteria have been satisfied, at which time, we EXIT, meaning move on to the next goal. All behaviors and beliefs unconsciously run through this sequence.
In eutaptics®, we use this universal behavior strategy to our advantage during the tapping process. We TEST if the problem still exists (SUDS rating), OPERATE on the problem (tap), TEST again (SUDS), EVALUATE (how has it changed? What’s left?). And we have added two more steps to make this model more complete and measurable: We work hard to MAKE the problem come back. Once we can no longer make it come back, we change it to SMILES; in other words, re-imprint the memory.
Although it seems counterintuitive, it is imperative to make it come back because if they can do that, the problem is still there. Once they can no longer make it come back in any way, you can re-imprint.
Remember! The GOAL of every session is to RE-IMPRINT memories.
- Test: SUDS rating - check the problem
- Operate: Tap - address the problem, using appropriate techniques
- Test: SUDS rating - check it again. If not 0, then operate until 0
- Evaluate: What other ways can you create the problem? Continue with operate until those are cleared
- Make it come back: Can you make the problem come back? If so, continue to operate until it is completely gone
- Smiles: Re-imprint/flip so that memory is positive
- Bad-Good Collapse: When working with clients, it’s important to know that all changes occur because of this one thing, regardless of which healing modality or therapy you use.
Feel Bad + Feel Good = Collapse the problem
Each time there is a collapse of bad feelings with good emotions, the shift happens. Tapping is a collapsing process. It releases badfeelings when firing off two emotions at the sametime.
You can have anchors (a look, smell, touch, word, joke…) and all of a sudden they fire off a good or bad feeling. If they fire off at the same time the bad anchor disappears. When you take a good and a bad concept, as long as the good one is stronger, the bad will be erased by the good. Ramp up the good state when doing a bad-good collapse. You will destroy the programming.
LEVEL 4 TECHNIQUES:
KEY: Address the Feeling of No Feeling - Often, when we experience a traumatic event, we create a shield that protects us from the emotional pain of that event. Intellectually, we know it's there, but we don’t feel the emotion - we’re numb. It’s easy to say, “Sure, that terrible thing happened, but it doesn’t bother me anymore.”
The problem is, these events still have a dramatic impact on our lives. They become like a computer virus, infiltrating the root files of our mind and wreaking havoc on our “operating system” without us even realizing it, until one day, we break down and don’t know why.
In these instances, the goal is to help our clients dismantle this protective mechanism, allowing them to experience and process the event so that it no longer affects their lives.
To do this, ask: “How big is this feeling of no feeling? What is it made of? How do you know it’s there?” Work with whatever answer they give you. Remember, this is their reality and their mind. We work with what they give us – always.
Tap on the representation they give you. Your goal is to gradually shift this representation, slowly letting them get in touch with the feelings from the event as the representation shifts and changes.
People who say that they cannot feel feelings are often times big feelers who are very dissociated. Our goal is to help them re-associate to their feelings safely.
KEY: Linking/Dumping Linking/Dumping is a great technique for addressing addictions. When a client wants to give up an addiction, the first thing that we need to do is take the love out of it. We dump all the negativity, pain, hurt, nastiness, death, suffering, stink, mess, etc. onto the perceived good part of the addiction.
It is essentially putting the bad feelings in the places that should be bad by creating conscious or unconscious repulsion.
For example, you say, “What is something you find disgusting?” Use your sensory acuity to evaluate their response. Be sure it is truly disgusting to them.
Next direct them to imagine putting that thing in their mouth, again evaluating their response. Once they are clearly repulsed, use their answer to ‘link/dump’ on the addiction (if it’s consumption based). The intonation of the voice that you use with it is also important. The more repulsed they are, the more abiding the results. If you can get them to gagging, GREAT!
It's also important to take the good feeling (that they get with using drugs for example) and move it to a beneficial action that they would prefer to do. In this way, linking/dumping can be used to build positive behaviors.
KEY: Fake Laughter Technique - Fake laughter is a great defractionation tool. And it often leads to real laughter. It’s fun and it’s simple:
- Identify a problem
- Notice where it is and how strong it is
- Amp itup
- Fake laugh at the problem from the stomach out loud, for 8, 10, 12 seconds.
- Go back, notice what is left and repeat until it’s gone
KEY: Finish the Sentence - A great way to elicit a belief/belief system is to have your client finish the sentence. It allows the metaphoric mind to fill in the blank, held at the deep unconscious level. You then tap out whatever shows up.
You can use this technique in one of two ways.
- Using one of their main beliefs (i.e., “I’m stupid”), ask your client to finish the sentence “I amstupidbecause.” Ask this at least three times, directing them to answer with the very first thing that comes to mind. The more times you ask, the deeper you get into the unconscious mind. If they are thinking too much, you can say, “Come on, faster. Don't think about it, just tell me the first thing that came to your mind.” Write down the words. They are the part of The A.R.T. ofChange.
- Using one of their strong desired outcomes (i.e., “Loving”), ask your client to finish the sentence with the opposite of that, “Iam unlovingbecause.” Again, ask at least three times, directing them to answer with the very first thing that comes to mind. Write down the words. They are the part of The A.R.T. of Change.
- Tap these negative beliefs down, then tap up the positive to 100% using Tap it Down, Tap it Up.
KEY: Give it a Voice - When dealing with emotions, feelings, or pain and we don't know what they are, we can say, “Give this pain a voice. What would it say/tell you? Just make it up. If this pain was a voice, what would it be?”
This will allow the metaphoric mind to give you aspects to tap on, it is direct unconscious communication and it will give you the information.
KEY: Pretend You’re Telling Me - This process is good for clients who don't want to talk about their problem but would like to let it go. It is like No Content in that they are not telling you details. But in this technique, you are directing them to tell you the story silently, in their mind only. Ask them to pretendthey are telling you.
- “Start at the beginning, before it ever happened, and tell mein your mind what happened. Nod your head the moment something bothersyou.”
- Tap a round, saying simply, “I release and let it go. Let itgo.”
- Go back and check it again, “Continue telling me in yourmind until you hit the point that bothersyou.”
- Continue tapping rounds until it'spositive
- Once it is positive, say, “It's safe now for you to tell me. Is there any resistance?” They still don't have to tell you, but you're cleaningup whatever is still there. Resistance may indicate more is there. And they are always entitled to their privacy. Respect theiranswer.
KEY: The Gap - When clients have gaps in their memories you can have them make up a story about what happened. Often, they make up the real event!
Allowing it to be made up gives them the permission to deal with it.
- Direct them write the story in an email, on a chalkboard, ora piece of paper then read it aloud.
- Draw on a piece of paper. Tap on every aspect inside thepicture being drawn.
- Lie about it: “If you were to make it up, lie about the story, what would have happened?” This will usually be true or haveelements oftruth.
When we say, “make it up” the unconscious mind will use the information that it already holds. Remember, everything inside of you is you! It's the metaphoric mind.
KEY: Pick, Poke, & Provoke (P.P.P.) - is one of the ways to amplify: when you’re aiming at the problem, the stronger you make it the faster it goes away when you tap. The rule with P.P.P. is that when you poke, they need to tap. This promotes healing. .
You can say to your clients, “You got what you deserved, it’s all your fault, you liked it…” or use the following processes to get strong resistance from them and then tap on the resistance until they no longer feel it to be true.
- They are/I am – “My husband is an idiot.” We say: “My husband is an idiot and so am I.”
- You love what you hate – “I hate my pain”. We reply: “You love it, don’t you? Yes you do. Say: ‘I love it.’ You love it so much you think about it all the time, don't you!”
- You are just like them. “You are just like your mother. You are twins! I thought I was talking to her!”
- “They are here right now, and will sit right next to you (hit them on the leg to put them in trance). All those people who made fun of you will sit in front of you and laugh at you.”
- Devil’s advocate – We're looking for the worst possible emotional scenario. Give it to them and then tap it away.
- Act or play out what they don’t want (whatever their fear is). E.g. “No one listens to me.” We say: “I'm sorry, did you say something?” You can physically role play whatever would trigger them.
- Say what they would say to themselves. Listen to what they say, listen to the words and give them back to them.
- Say what they project on others and what they are saying about them.
- Say what was said to them – by parents or friends or anyone.
- State the most obvious truth but in an extreme way. They would say, “I messed in my pants.” You would say, “ You shit on yourself.”
- Laugh or make fun of them – whatever they say, laughing loudly at them, then tap.
- Being super kind, loving and sweet – playing tuff they can handle but someone who is kind and loving will break the wall down so you can heal the hurts.
- Give the problem to someone they love – give it to their child, dog cat, mother or friend. It usually works great when they are not wanting to associate to their issue so giving it to someone they care about then it brings up the big emotions.
It is wise to set up the session letting them know what you are going to do in order to help them to heal. Sometimes, giving them a warning is important too. Tell them what you are going to do if it a physical act and guide them along. Another thing, you don't do P.P.P. with family members unless you tell them that it's just a game and you would like to test them. You have to lay this foundation; do it in a proper way – see where they are intellectually and emotionally and then you adjust (especially with the kids). If when you're then doing it you feel bad about it, it's because you have the same issues.
KEY: P.P.P. Guidelines - P.P.P. can be extremely effective and plays a significant role when working with our clients. However, to ensure that it is used appropriately, the following guidelines can and should be reviewed and followed regularly.
As we all know, when dealing with people and their emotions, there are many dynamics, and very seldom is there a single answer to any one question or concern. Thus, the practitioner is encouraged to use common sense in all situations while holding their client’s best interest in mind as the number one priority.
- The purpose of P.P.P. is to help the client associate and to amplify the emotions associated to their P.I.P.S. As Robert says, “The more you can feel it, the more you can change it”, and in many cases, it can be beneficial to help themamp it up. However, the practitioner is encouraged to start easy, while using sensory acuity to test and determine the clients’ emotional reaction. For example, some clients have severe reactions when told to, “just go there”, while others may need more prodding. The degree to which you apply P.P.P. should be determined by your client’sreaction.
- As a practitioner, be aware of your own triggers. We are all on our own healing journey and so practitioners need to be aware of their own emotions during a session, such as angers, excitement, or arousal. A seasoned practitioner will notice the trigger and take the time totap on themselves, even if it means a pause in thesession.
- The desired result is a reframe/re-write/flip. When applying P.P.P.the practitioner’s objective is to help their client amplify their problem, de-fractionate, and re-frame, flip or re-write it. Any P.P.P. should be immediately followed by, “let it go, it’s safe to let it go, that’s right, letit all go”, etc.
- Prepare a pre-talk script. Let your client know what to expect during a session, including P.P.P. Full transparency with your client is a must. It can also help build rapport. Remember, your goal is to help empower your clients. Sharing with them what you will be doing in session and why will educate them on how they can begin to take control of their own emotional reactions and behaviors.
- Ask for permission. A good practice is to show them how you will be tapping on them (or calling out points over Skype) and informingthem of any other techniques such as heavy/light touch, gentle massage, eye movements, light shoving, etc. that you may use. Ask if you can demonstrate each and any technique you may use and get their permission to do so first. Getting permission should precede any behavior outside of what you demonstrate in the pre-talk. This would include any other types of physicality, reenactments, exaggerated invasion of personal space, or verbalP.P.P.
- Use their words. The practitioner should take the position that,“I am only saying to you (client) what you’ve been saying to yourself.” A good practitioner will take notes on the language the client uses to feed it back to them. Even when giving it back with dynamite, the client’s language should be duplicated, just in a more exaggerated fashion. Using other derogatory, demeaning language or over the top curse words is not recommended.
- Follow the Deca-Trauma Process (DTP) A practitioner should always attempt to “clean up” with the Deca-Trauma Process. Then gradually move to more physical or verbal intensities as deemed necessary to “test” for any other triggers. The goal and reason forusing P.P.P. is to be as thorough as possible in cleaning up the emotional reactions and flipping the memories.
- Be flexible. Some clients are seemingly unfazed by any amount of P.P.P.. There are times when another approach may be moreeffective, such as soft, gentle, lovinglanguage.
- Use when appropriate only. Use during sessions, after seeking permission from the client. This technique should not be usedrandomly without permission. If used outside of a session the practitioner would need to have a familiar relationship with the person and tap straight awayafterwards.P.P.P. should not be usedwith:
- Family and friends
- Severely traumatizedclients/persons
- Tell clients more than once when you wish to use the technique.We use their words, proofs and references, which allows the subconscious to do the deep work.
KEY: Photo tapping - Photo tapping is the process of using a photograph (or album) to elicit memories and emotions. This technique can be used in two ways:
- Use a photo or an album to elicit memories, triggers, oremotional states. Tap on what comes up.
- Use the people in the photos as surrogates. Have them pretend to be that person, feel their pain, experience their problem, and tap.
KEY: Picture Techniques
- Take the bad memory and put it to one side (point withfinger where)
- Take the good memory and put it to the other side (againpoint withfinger)
- Look at the bad memory. Look at the goodmemory.
- Look at the bad memory and move it in front of the good one and have the good memory come through and replace/dissolve/dissipate the bad memory.
- See the bad memory. Light a match under that picture. Watchit burn and notice the happy picture behind where the bad one was. Step into the good one and feelit.
- Burn the picture, take a deep breath and blow the ashes away. Notice the happy memory is there now. Step into itand feelit.
- Use the knob to adjust it to black and white. You can change itto look like an old picture. It no longer haspower.
- Adjust the knob to one solid color that makes you feel good. Step into that picture and see how all the color wraps around you. Feel that color, how comforting that is, and breathe in that color. And think about somethinggood.
- Change the picture to white. Shrink it way down to a smallstar. Move it up and out into the sky, until it is lost amongst thestars.
- Now it is above you and shining light, healing you. Allow it to heal the memory.
- Bring the star down, step into it and feel the brightness of the moment.
Push It Away
- When a memory is visually close, direct your client to push itaway.
- The further it goes, the smaller the picture gets, and the less emotion will be there.
KEY: Power Word Technique - Find a word that you want to use instead of tapping:
- Have them identify the word, associate to it, feel it and sayit.
- Ask them: “Do you have a really wonderful, powerfulexperience?
- Something that just makes you feel good?”
- “Take a deep breath in, close your eyes and go back to that experience. There you are, feel that feeling.” You can amplify the feeling by spinning it. “Just feel that feeling and give it a word.” (e.g.Showtime)
- Take them out of that feeling,re-focus.
- “Now open your eyes and think about something else.” (Divert their attention by talking about somethingelse.)
- Go back to it, to wherever they get that word, say it inside or out loud.
- “Go back to that memory, there you are in your body, feel it, see it, hear it, notice that feeling in your body…Showtime!” You dothis a few times.
- Then do normal tapping – find the problem, notice it, see it, feel it, notice the spot, location, however you do it, take a deep breath– and say theword.
- You can also anchor the power word by grabbing the wrist,but just using the word by itself willwork.
- “Go back to the problem, whatever it is, see it, feel it, notice the locationand…Showtime!”
KEY: Stop! (That Shit)/Shut the Fuck Up! - If you notice that you keep repeating the same patterns or behaviors and want to stop them, you can say “Stop that shit!” or “Quit!” (shout it in your mind) to yourself in the middle of doing it, at the height of the feeling. You can do it with any word but it must be an impactful, powerful, meaningful word. It is also useful for people who play movies inside their minds.
When you catch yourself saying negative things to yourself, you can interrupt the pattern by telling your mind to “Shut the fuck up!” It works better if it’s forceful rather than polite. By doing this, you're taking control of your unconscious mind.
ADVANCED PROTOCOLS OVERVIEW:
KEY: What is Addiction? - -The standard definition of addiction is: the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming. (Based on the Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2017.)
Whereas most schools of thought consider addictions to be independent processes (alcoholism is different than smoking, which is different than drug addiction, which is different than compulsive shopping, etc.), eutaptics® treats all addictions as one main process: escapism. All addictions are driven by the exact same thing – the need to escape what’s inside the mind.
In eutaptics® terms, addiction is a persistent, uncontrollable coping skill used to avoid problems or undesirable states of mind. For an addict, the drive to avoid and escape overrides reason and logic, to the detriment of self (and often others).
An addict will use anything to feel better, whether it be drugs or alcohol, sex, gambling, social media, reading, shopping, cleaning, etc. We can even become addicted to our emotions – negative or positive!
To a greater or lesser extent, everybody is an “avoidaholic”, addicts are just more practiced at avoiding and escaping.
In all cases, addiction is a mental and emotional process, a learned coping mechanism. However, it can lead to physical addiction (as in the case of drugs). In either case, eutaptics® asserts that addiction IS changeable.
KEY: What Drives Addiction? - Addiction is driven by a feel good and the deprivation of not having the thing used to feel good. The feel good is the fix, but the true driver is the deprivation.
Addiction has two key elements:
- The “magical” fix, the feel good, the hope of it, the imagination ofit (glamorizing the relief), trying to relive the good feeling (e.g. a gambler wants to feel the good feeling of winning while they're not winning).
- The powerful desire to have the fix when not in the feel good state. The feeling of not having keeps the addiction going. “I'm emptyand I need my fix.” It is what you've always been looking for and the more you try to find it, the harder you look. An addict will endure the pain, the beating, the rejection – at some conscious or unconscious level – because they know there is going to be that fix on the other end.
The real problem is everything you haven’t made peace with: all the hurts, the fears, the traumas, the abuse, and the inability to deal with how you feel. It's also strongly linked to family culture and/or being accepted by the group of peers. Addicts are addicted because they want to numb the pain, to block out what they're trying to get away from, and will use whatever is easiest for them to use.
If you want to be free you must make peace with what you are running from – the hurts, the fears, the phobias, the physical pains, all the traumas, all the abuse etc. When you change these the hurts, fears, pain, etc. doesn’t feel real anymore and will no longer drive the behavior. There’s no longer anything to escape from and YOU have control over your life, not the behavior or substance.
KEY: The Addiction Protocol Overview
Always look for:
- Things that don’t go together but “drive the bus” (i.e., what did they connect and what decision did theymake?)
- Elicit the strategy – understand how they create their problem,use A.R.T. of Change® Questions to get their beliefs, attitudes and what they don’t want.
- Address the addiction – get rid of the positive associations to the substance/behavior and create repulsion to it. Destroy the lovefor the substance/behavior by destroying as many references to re- creating the feel good.
- Address the emotional drivers – traumas, abuses, memories, experiences, feelings, emotional connections, anddynamics.
- Destroy bad anchors (the association to the substance) andcreate new good ones (what theywant)
- Future Pace – help them create a vision for their life they WANTto live into. Make it real in theirmind
- Integration – healing all the other important peopleinside
- Teaching them how to tap (and other new skills)
KEY: GRIEF AND LOSS - Grief and loss are two of the strongest emotional drivers in modern society. Many cultures hold the belief that when someone dies, you must grieve for the rest of your life (or a very long time, at the very least) to “honor” that person’s memory. If you think of them and smile or laugh, you are somehow dishonoring their memory. They’re gone, after all. You should be sad.
However, to honor someone is to cherish the LIFE they lived, not feel sad about their death. Every single living being on this planet dies. It isa natural process of living. Not one single person gets to the end of their life and lives. And not many people would WANT us to be sad at their passing.
This does not mean don’t feel sad. Sadness and grief are natural emotions. There is nothing inherently wrong with them. But when they drive your life, they become a problem. Work on your own grief and loss belief system, create a healthy attitude toward it, and you will be better able to help your clients
What Drives Grief?
When we're working with our clients, we deal with grief and loss inevery session, it's always there. There are so many pieces that people don't realize are grief and loss, ranging from the end of a relationship, a loss of childhood, ideas, dreams, children growing up and leaving home, graduating from high school, moving from one house to another, losing a job, etc. It is everywhere. Also, people feel some things they never had as loss, (e.g., ”I never had a goodmom…”)
- EVERY PERSON, EVERY RELATIONSHIP, EVERY EXPERIENCEWILL
- BRING YOU GIFTS (good ones – good experiences, memories, and bad ones – pain and hurt). It is up to you which one you're going to open and which you're choosing to keep
- EVERYBODY WILL DIE – death is a natural process. Make peace withit.
- LIFE IS ALWAYS CHANGING, beyond our control, ADJUST QUICKLY and KEEP THE GOODPARTS
- GRIEVING HURTS THOSE WHO GRIEVE. It is a self-torturingprocess and a skill
- GRIEF DOESN'T UNDO ANYTHING. It doesn't fix, change, orsolve anything, it only makes you feelterrible
- THOSE WHO HAVE DIED ARE OKAY NOW – the pain has ended. It’s the living that have a problem with thedeath
- GRIEVING IS A DISHONORABLE ACT TO THOSE WHO DIED. GRIEVE ONLY AS LONG AS YOU WANT TO FEEL BAD
- CONNECTION – That's why people hold on to grief and loss. They think that's all they have left now – the last major imprint.
KEY: Grief and Loss Protocol Overview - When working with clients, the goal is to rewrite their bad memories so that when they think about the person (or thing) they lost, remember the good instead of the bad.
- Ask, “How do you know it's sad?” and find the program they use to “entertain” themselves.
- You're looking for:
- MEMORIES AND REFERENCES(PROOFS)
- CULTURAL CONDITIONING (e.g., some cultures find not grieving disrespectful)
- TRIGGERS AND PLACES where they are normally sad (e.g. walking past the mantel, seeing the photo, hearing the song)
- PHOTO ALBUM (it's a great way of triggering memories), also e- mails, clothes,etc.
- ANGER, RESENTMENT, BLAME (God, themselves, doctors,etc.)
- GUILT – the “I should have’s” and “Ifonly’s”
- RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS – either vilifying or sainting thedeceased
- Emotional pain can block out good memories and the last week of the person’s life can become a negative primary imprint. Take them there. Walk them through everything that helped create the grief. Elicit all the memories of death and/or loss and aspects of their belief system around death and loss.
- Change everything and keep tapping until they're smiling and they're left with the happy memory, with how they would wantit to happen
- Go to the good memories and integrate with that and the one who passed
- Remind them the person is alive within them. Do the integration work with person inside of them
KEY: PAIN - Most people think of pain as strictly physical. They believe they have no control over it other than by physical means (drugs, physical therapy, etc.). However, pain is a literal and/or metaphoric expression for something else that happened. It is a symptom, not a cause. There is a significant emotional component that affects the body in a tangible way. Unresolved negative stress and emotions can and do create pain in the body.
A lot of people who have pain also have difficulty feeling emotions. This doesn’t mean they don’t have emotions. They just aren’t recognizing them. But the emotions need to be expressed somehow, and it is often through the pain. Pain is stress driven approximately 90% of the time.
Whatever you think, your body follows. The mind is the body, the body is the mind. And expression of the body is emotion made real in the body. If pain was physical or strictly mechanical, emotions and thoughts would not affect it.
What Drives Pain?
There is positive intention behind pain; inside of the pain there is a fix, a satisfying part about it. It does something for the individual, (e.g., it could be a feeling of being safe). There is also an escape – they're using the pain to escape something. In pain cases, you often see what is referred to as secondary gain: your client may be getting disability because of their pain, but if they let go of the pain, what will happen? They may have to get a job and that is too overwhelming, so they hold onto the pain.
For example, those with Fibromyalgia have a great ability to store their pain (emotions) in their bodies. They often have a lot of unresolved emotional experiences and feel pain more often and for longer periods of time, developing chronic pain. But they don't have fibromyalgia, they produce it!
Remember, stating you ”have” any disease is claiming ownership of it and you will be more resistant to letting it go if you’ve created an identity around it.
KEY: Pain Protocol Overview - Because pain is often emotionally perpetuated, we need to address the emotional aspects of the pain. Cleaning up originating pain events (such as car accidents) is key, along with addressing family dynamics, which can often be a foundation for conditions such as Fibromyalgia. We must also address everyday life events (such as work, school, etc.) which may be creating more stress, which exacerbates pain.
By understanding how the mind works, we work to create healing in the mind-body connection. By changing beliefs, proofs, connections, and resources, everything changes.
- BELIEFS: What do you believe about this pain?
- LOCATION: Where in the body do you feelit?
- TIMES AND PLACES: When do you normally have this pain? Also, certain times and spaces that the pain will intensify and be stronger (e.g., Your mother/husband is coming and all of the sudden you'resick.)
- ONSET: Have you ever had this pain before? When did it all begin? What was going on in your life at thetime?
- PATTERNS: automatic unconscious patterns, “anniversary dates”, seasonal affective disorder
- THE PAIN CULTURE: Who else has this pain? (“family reunions”)
- PERSON: If this pain was a person, who would it represent? Who is it really? Often, pain is a way to relate to and connect withothers who have the same issue. They love them so much that the pain becomes a representation of being close to their loved ones.
- PAY OFF: What good things do they get because ofpain?
- Disability, attention, sex avoidance, etc.
- PROCESSING: What are the sub-modalities of the pain: (e.g. “I feel it here, it's a pressure here, it moves over here, it vibrates,etc.”).
- EMOTIONAL FIX: Inside of the pain there is a fix, a satisfying part, it does something for you, there's a reward. What is it? Love equals pain, there's an emotion to it, something that you've enjoyed
- ESCAPE: “I don't want to deal with my emotions. I'd rather feelthe physical pain than deal with the emotional pain.” The key question is: What are you trying to escape from?
KEY: WEIGHT LOSS - Societally, we are conditioned to believe that diet and/or exercise are the “cure” for being overweight. The diet and food industry is BIG BUSINESS and we’ve almost universally bought into what they’ve been feeding us – pun intended. People tend to blame either conditions outside themselves or a medical condition they “have no control over” for their weight issues. In either case, they are powerless. However, as with all addictions, emotional conditioning and associations are at the root of both weight and body image issues.
Weight and body image issues share many of the same aspects as other addictions.
What Drives Weight Issues?
Weight issues always have strong emotional drivers. Here are six drivers weight issues:
- Unmanaged stress and unresolved negativeemotions
- Automatic unconscious eating programs from childhood (clean your plate, be a good girl/boy, kids in China are starving, it's 12 o'clock - time to eat!). These emotional programs drive you toeat when you're nothungry.
- Self-image, how you see yourself (e.g. “I don't want to look likemy mother; it's safer to be fat; if I look good, men will chase me; my friends/family won't like me anymore because they’ll think I'm better than they are, I hate my body,etc.”)
- Dieting – Giving power to the food and using willpower to control it
- Unhealthy food choices – fast food, soda,etc.
- Emotional escape – “Food is the only thing I enjoy in my life.”
KEY: Weight Loss Protocol Overview - Because there are so many subtle unconscious eating programs we operate from, start looking at your life and find where is it that you're eating when you're not hungry. That is the primary program for being overweight. The goal is to change our response to food, not control it.
Start tapping before you eat. Notice what your body feels. Ask yourself, “Is this food nourishing to my body?” If it is, enjoy it, eat slowly, taste it, feel it, experience it. And when your hunger is satisfied you, stop eating.
We must also be at peace with throwing food away once we're full (tap out the emotions, guilt etc.).
- Address the emotional, familial, and culturalconnections
- Release and let go of the pleasure, sensations, smell, and aroma
- Do the taste test and let go of any remaining positive tastes
- Check for feelings of deprivation and release those
- Future pace your healthy relationship with food and your body
KEY: Unconditional Positive Regard - Unconditional positive regard is the idea of having respect for your client’s model of the world regardless of your own opinion about it. People from all walks of life will come to you for help; diverse cultures, religions, beliefs, etc. You will not agree or resonate with every single client you work with. And sometimes, you may flat out disagree with their value system. This does not matter!
As a eutaptics® practitioner, we operate from the belief that your client’s story is just that: a story. Not real. And therefore, it is imperative that you set your judgments aside. Your job is to facilitate their change based on their desired outcomes, not to impose your agenda on their life. Your opinion is irrelevant. The minute you buy into a client’s story, you have just validated it as real for them as well and you will be much less effective as a practitioner!
If you find yourself feeling triggered, then it is your responsibility as a practitioner to clean that up. Tap on yourself as you tap on them. Get a session from a fellow practitioner. Do whatever it takes to deal with your issues without involving your client. Not only will you be a happier practitioner, you will also have greater success with your clients and they will be happier with you.
KEY: Don’t Be a Mind Reader…because you’re not telepathic and they have enough problems!
“Mind reading” is the act of making assumptions and assigning meaning about the thoughts, feelings, behavior, or intentions of other people without asking the appropriate questions to get accurate information. It is based on your own perceptions and belief systems.
When you do this, you are unable to hear what someone is really telling you and it builds a foundation for misunderstandings and misinterpretations. The mind reader usually believes his/her perceptions are accurate without realizing they are projecting.
KEY: The Apex Problem - “Apexing,” as we call it in eutaptics®, is the phenomenon of forgetting a problem existed because there is no longer an emotional charge associated with that problem. It feels as if it never was a problem in the first place.
To help your clients see their progress (even if they apex), be sure to write down the SUDS rating for each of their memories at the beginning and ending of their session so that they have a reference for the work they did.
KEY: Helpful Callouts - Callouts are simply the phrases we say during tapping rounds.
Remember that you can keep it as simple as “Let it go” and still get profound changes. However, sometimes you may want to change it up. Here are some general phrases you may find helpful when tapping on your clients or yourself. It doesn’t matter which tapping point you say these on.
- Let it go, let it go
- I made itthrough
- I survivedthis
- You’renolongeryears old, you couldn't fit into the clothes even if you tried!
- S/He really did love me, the best way s/he knewhow
- The past is over; I choose to keep the wisdom
- Your mom/dad had their own problems; they did the bestthey could, based on their ownexperiences
- I know you’re changing and seeing thingsdifferently
- I'm keeping him close by loving/abusing myself the way he loved me
- I used to get it right when I was getting it wrong
- I let go of all regrets. It all worked out perfectly
- It's served its purpose; now it's no longeruseful
- I am so smart to know how to actstupid!
- I'm so clear about being confused!
- Thank you, Body, for letting me know what I need to letgo
- It's just a sensation I label as bad. It's coming up so I can let itgo
- It really wants to let me go, so I let itgo
- It's okay to let this fade away, dissolve anddisappear
- That was then and this isnow
- I'm doing this to myself
- They had their problems and I'm letting go of minetoday
- These are my feelings, I created them, and I can changethem
- It’s safe to let go of the fear and keep thewisdom
- The past is over and I am here now
- They have their problems but I am letting go ofmine
- They loved me the way someone loved them and I am improving mylove
- Feeling how I really feel is my first step in moving forward to how I want to feel withinme
- I need to stop beating myself up over mypast
- When I feel guilty for what happened, I’m choosing tobe emotionally trapped in mypast
- I choose to stop taking the emotionalpoisonof(fillin)
- I give myself permission to free myself from this emotionalprison
- I am the one who is choosing to punish myself in this way, this ismy experience
- When I am able to free myself, I am able to make betterchoices in my future
- I can recognize the ways I overreact in thesecircumstances
- Some things in my life I don’t control, but one thing I do controlis mychoice
- Because I have screwed up so much in the past I deserve tosuffer
- Feeling this way is my punishment tomyself
- I am worthy of not being stuck in mypast
- I am worthy of the freedom that comes with forgivingmyself
- I don’t have to constantly beat myself up when I makemistakes
- I'm just like him/her
- You are your parents “gift' to the world”
- Using their yard stick to measure me/yourself
- They couldn’t give me what they didn’thave
- They couldn’t teach me what they didn’t knowthemselves
- They loved me the way they loved themselves
- It’s safe to graduate from theirsystem
- Somebody did it tothem
- I'm so glad I’m here with (your name) now to let it allgo!
- It's not fear that's protecting me, but calm awareness/clear vigilance
- This happened, it’s over, I’m OK and I can let it all gonow
- I can make peace with all the places in my mind, body andlife where this is stored
- I put up the wall, I can just as easily take itdown
- Whatever it means, I don't need itanymore
- I forgive that little girl (or boy). She was hurt, she didn’t know how to let it go, but Ican
- Hear those words. Let go of those words. It’s safe to let go ofthose words. I’m going to miss those words. I’ve been entertaining myself with those words for a long time
- So she had it worse than you – how does it feel that she did a betterjob?
- It’s OK for me to beOK
- Those awful wonderful people
- I say I don’t want it, but I’m sure I/youdo
- Feel the love you have for your mom and send it toher
- It’s time to loveme
- It’s safe to heal this part ofme
- Release the bad stuff and keep the goodstuff.
- Eventhoughhe’s, I’m the onefeelingthe feelings. I release and let itgo
- I release and let it go at the unconscious level and all itsroads andavenues.
- I release thepast
- At that time I did the best Icould
- That was their problem and it isn't yours to carry, LET ITGO.
- I forgive my body, it was only following mymind
- I/they did the best I/they could with the knowledge and skillsthat I/they had at that time ... just as I'm doing the best I can with the knowledge and skills I have rightnow
KEY: The Basic Process for a Client Session
1) Initial contact with client, either by phone, video conference, or in person. Determine compatibility, establish rapport, schedule session if agreed, send or give client packet with instructions for session
2) Session: Meet and greet, build rapport, consent form, explain what will happen in the session
3) Have their Peace List ready
4) Ask them what their desired outcome is. What do you want to change today?
5) Complete the intake, using the A.R.T. of Change® Process. Listen carefully. Take notes. Get SUDS ratings as you interview
a) Listen for the metaphor phrases that precede a trance: “It’s kind of like… It’s just like... It’s sort of like... It’s as if…”
b) Take note of areas of resistance. Wherever you find the BIGGEST RESISTANCE, address it, CHANGE it
c) Look for and AIM at the biggest and worst life experiences first
6) Perform the Pre-Tap. This associates them to their problem and is imperative for the session!
7) Begin tapping using the Quick Tap
8) Tap the rounds, using TOTEMS
9) Break it down into smaller pieces and address the fine points using different techniques.
a) Always come back to the original event and clear it up
b) Check notes. What is left undone? Double-check everything
c) Address who they would be without the problem. Clean this up and make it positive
10) Re-write one memory, making it not just good, but amazing
11) Perform the Integration
12) Future Pace
13) Remind them how bad it was (0 – 10) when they arrived
14) Affirm how good it feels now – joy, and peace, etc.
15) Teach them how to tap. Explain that they will have the most success if they keep tapping on themselves
16) Teach them how to practice their rewritten memory
17) Make them a walking advertisement for you and for eutaptics®.
Basic steps we will work our clients through:
1) Clean up the mess
2) Educate them on how their mind works and show them where the controls are within themselves
3) Empower them by giving them the tools and skills to change themselves
4) Make raving fans, promoters and advertisers of your work
Educate them on how to advertise for you:
- Tell them, “Forget trying to explain what tapping is. It may confuse others, and it does not make sense to most people even though it works.”
- Share with others about how bad your problem or life was in the past with a story
- Share how good life is now after the session and give examples
- Instruct them to be patient and keep encouraging them because people need to hear more than once
- Give them a business card
Important to Keep in Mind:
1) Everything the client talks about is about them. Even if it’s a pet or a strange imagined alien in their dream, it’s all about them. Listen to them carefully to elicit their structure of thinking.
2) Every story the client brings to you is now a made up story. It may have been real at one point in time, but it is no longer happening right now
3) Keep your emotions in check and stay out of their P.I.P.S. Remain detached and avoid commiserating with them. It is your job to throw them a life preserver and you cannot pull them out if you jump in with them.
KEY: Pre-Talk: What You Say at the Start of a Session - One of the most important aspects of a sessionis what you say before you begin. This process sets the tone for the entire session: It not only frames the session, it also lets your client know what to expect. In addition, it is an excellent time to begin building conscious rapport and noticing mannerisms. By paying attention to your client at this stage, you can calibrate what their “normal” is, making it easier to recognize other states once the session begins.
To help you get started, we’ve provided a basic script for you to follow. It includes the key points that all pre-talks should have. Once you have this memorized, you can add your own personality to it. Over time, you will come up with what works best and flows naturally for you.
“Hi CLIENT NAME. Thank you for the opportunity to work with you today. Before we start, I’d like to go over what to expect during your session.
We’ll start with the intake. I will ask you questions about THE PROBLEM, how it has affected your life, and what outcome you'd like to achieve. Once we’re done with that, we’ll begin tapping.
I’ll ask you to focus your attention on the memories, feelings, and beliefs from the intake and we’ll begin tapping on these points (demonstrate). I will ask you to repeat, out loud, what I say as we tap.
While tapping, it is important to shift your focus away from your problem to the feeling of my (your) fingertips tapping. I will ask you questions throughout the tapping portion of the session to gauge your progress.
Some of the things I say may make you feel uncomfortable. This is expected. Remember that I am here to support you and facilitate your process. You are in control of this session so if you want to take a break, let me know.
Toward the end of the session, we will begin focusing on your desired outcome to leave you feeling good. I will show you how to tap on yourself between sessions and give you some self-work to help you continue making positive changes in your life. Is this ok with you? Do you have any questions?”
Key points to include in pre-talk:
- Thank your client
- Assuming you’ve had an initial conversation prior to the session, review your understanding of their problem and desired outcome
- Explain the intake
- Explain the tapping process, demonstrating the points and what it will look/feel like
- Explain how to aim and tap
- Explain that some things said may be uncomfortable
- Let them know they are in control and can ask you to stop any time
- Let them know you’re there to facilitate THEIR OWN PROCESS. Remember, YOU ARE NOT making the changes for them. They are making their own. You are merely a guide
- Explain the end of the session future pace and leaving them in a positive state
- Teach them how to tap on themselves
- Give them some assignments to keep the momentum going between sessions
- Give them the opportunity to ask questions or express concerns